Pat and John's Road Kill Cafe (a virtual diner) .... the menu

[John Barrows]

(Anything on this menu may change, whenever we feel like it. And there are always "specials", so ask!)

Salads (what to eat while you're waiting for the food)
Caesar .....lots of garlic and parmigiano - and raw egg, so deal with it
Iceberg ....a quarter of a head, with blue cheese or oil and vinegar
Mixed Greens ...... local stuff from the fields, with olive oil and balsamic
Chicken ... on a bed of greens (sorta fancy, but that's Patrick)
Nicoise ..... yeah, it's a Frenchy, fancy name - but qualifies as peasant

Soups (stuff that puts hair on your chest)
Grampa Napoleone's ... little meatballs and little round pasta in broth
"Cagoots" .... not technically a soup, but we're callin' it that
Oxtail ........ braised all day in odori and red wine
All-American Bean ..... Pat makes it
Pasta "fazool" .... with rosemary
Gazpacho ..... from Spanish peasantry. Stay cool with cool soup.
Debbie's "Road Killed" Chicken Soup .... offered only in flu season

Sandwiches (things you take fishin')
Bean .... made out of Pat's leftover baked beans (see below)
Meatloaf .... you can't get the meatloaf hot (do not see below)
PB&J .... the PB's an inch thick (comes with milk)
Grilled cheese ..... old New York State cheddar that'll pickle your tongue
Bologna ..... mortadella on a Panino de Napoleone


Burgers and dogs (we make 'em from scratch and they're "brutti ma buoni")
Plain burger ..... put what you want on 'em (with our prior approval)
Cheeseburger ..... see New York State cheddar (above)
Sloppy ........ as in "Joes"
White hots ...... in hog casings
Sausage ........ pork - hot or sweet (yep, hog casings)
Laura's "Frenchy Burger" ..... she'll fly over from Paris to serve it!

Mains (if you're still hungry)
"Slumgullion" ... our dad's version of goulash
Wings or Ribs .... your choice, slow-grilled by Pat
Leftover pot roast hash ... our pot roast only comes in this form
Chili from Hell .... hot
Spaghet' anda meataballs ... the Napoleone old world recipe
Old-fashion chicken and biscuits .... the older the chicken the better
Pepper steak ......... tons of black pepper and a brandy de-glazing
Shrimp scampi "Madrid" .... ooodles of butter and garlic
Polenta sulla tavola ...... on a board with Bolognese, or ..........
Fish ... rolled in cornmeal and fried in salt pork fat, with salt pork "nibbles"
Pizza ........ the best pizza in the world. Period!
Fried chicken ..... the "un-shake-'n-bake" version

Other Stuff (goes with above stuff)
Baked beans ...... baked
Pickles ....... Barrows' family ancient recipes
Potato salad ..... Pat's American or John's French
Fried potatoes ..... in olive oil with rosemary and garlic
Panini di Napoleone .... you'll need these
Rice pudding ..... Aunt Betty's
Pies ..... if we feel like it (but usually John's tart tatin)
Greens and other vegetables ... always fresh, and you have to try some

Drinks (things to drink)
Wine ..... French or Italian
Beer ..... Labatts or Molsons
Coke ..... in a bottle
Ice tea .... not that sweetened crap
Espressi .... and capuccini - Patrick deals with these
Koolaid ..... only the best refined sugar
Milkshakes .... wow! with real milk and ice cream!
Water ...... tap

Breakfast:

Open 3:00 A.M. - 7:00 A.M only, and only when we feel like it. Hangovers welcome.

Leftover panini di Napolone ................. from last night - toasted (or not) - butter and jam
Huevos "Suburbos" ..... spicy and saucy for those wee hour hangovers
Cold leftover pizza ............... we will not reheat
Steel cut oatmeal .............it take 30 minutes, so relax
Buckwheat/cornmeal buttermilk pancakes ...... molasses, honey, maple or blackberry syrup
Egg concoction ...... Pat's deal (everything on a muffin)
Eggs any way ....... that we feel like making them
Fried potatoes ......... our way
Leftover cold fried perch .......... a la Uncle Claude
Hard-boiled egg and a chunk of cheese .... with a Heineken
Egg, bacon, and cheese on a roll ........ served with ketchup
Grits ....................... with red-eye gravy and ham (with cream and butter if you're a sissy)
Homemade pork sausage patties ....... with sage and tons of pepper
Slab bacon ..................thick with the rind still on (Pat slices to order)
"Hangtown Fry" ........ if yo' don't know what it is, don't order it
Weeta-bix .........................with whole milk so they get nice and thick and soggy
French-press coffee ..........2 or 4 cupper (cappuccino if you eat grits with cream and butter)
Red Rose tea ...........with cream (sugar available on request) - served by our house chimps
Steak ...............................blackened and rare
Kippered herring .................. (must show British passport)
Yogurt ..........................plain, whole milk, period. Add fruit if we got it (and if you're a fruit)
Alka-Seltzer ............................ free from 3:00 - 4:00



"If ya' don't like it, go somewhere else"
CASH ONLY
Whiny kids will be smacked

[Debbie]

PLACING AN ORDER:
Right about now, I am wanting/craving (before I watch the debates):

One Green salad
Grampa Napoleone's Soup
Wings
Wine ..... Italian

(so what, maybe I am PMS'g - feed me!)!

Put it on my tab!

[John Barrows]

cash only!

[Debbie]

KEEP THE CHANGE!

[John Barrows]

Our first $100 bill! We need to frame it! Plus a big tipper! Gets her picture on the Road Kill Wall o' Fame.